Long time no speak. Sorry about that and I hope it’s never this long again. My world got rocked at the end of August and just now finding the time to sit down and be thoughtful of my life in the past few months.
To sum things up, I had my baby almost 2 months premature. What started out as a regular visit to my doctors, ended up being a 10-day stay in the hospital and delivering at 33 weeks and 1 day. Little baby Tony spent 3 weeks in the NICU but we’re all doing great now. Bringing him home was the happiest but also one of the scariest days of my life. How am I responsible for this little baby?
In general, motherhood has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. Everything in my life changed immediately and my priorities shifted massively. For the first two months, every week seemed like it brought a new challenge or something I was not aware of. Whether it’s questioning if he’s getting enough to eat, if he’s sleeping enough, or even if he’s sleeping too much? I was not prepared for how much I’d love this little boy but how much I’d worry about him all at the same time. My life turned into doomsday scrolling on google at 3 am all while looking at pictures of him on my phone missing him and crying about how much I loved him. The emotions after labor are nuts!
After a while, I started to feel like I was losing myself. I hadn’t picked up the camera in weeks and I missed being able to wander without having to worry about anything else.
Then one day I got a message that my friend, Andy was leaving DC. A group of people was getting together for one last sunrise with him. As soon as I read it, I knew I had to go. It was a clear sky but it still brought all kinds of drama with the sky column and fog. I’m grateful for this outing because it made me realize that it is still possible to go out to shoot, even with a baby. So from that point on, I told myself that I would try my best to go out at least once a week to shoot.
At the time, there was an installation of over 660,000 white flags over the National Mall. Each one represents a person who had lost their life due to covid at that time. It was very moving to see it in person and I’m so glad I had the opportunity to photograph it before it went away.
And once November hit, I was on the hunt for fall color.
I finally found it at the Tidal Basin. I purposely went a little bit later than sunrise because I wanted to wait for the sunlight to shine through the leaves but I should have gone a little earlier. I remember missing the beautiful sunrise colors. Oh well. I am happy with what I was able to create.
And whenever the weather conditions are right, I bring Frank to take pictures with me. It’s just easier on everyone if he can get his morning walk in while I’m out shooting. However, shooting with him means we’re extra taking our time.
But unlike before, I can’t be picky with the days that I am able to go out to shoot. Even when there were less than ideal weather conditions, if the opportunity presented itself, I go out. On one eerie morning in December, all the lights were out at the Lincoln Memorial. I had never seen President Lincoln so dark.
While I wasn’t able to make it EVERY week, I find these postpartum walks so therapeutic. It really gives me a break to do something for just me. I love getting fresh air with a camera in hand. Hopefully, in the near future, I’ll be able to go more often and even more so with Tony and a camera in his hand. As for now, there are a few things that I have planned for the future. The best way to hear about them will be to follow me on my socials: Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.
More soon 🙂